Interview With The Road Runner
Another one of my older works. Helen Barlowe Rochester, first seen in “Ramona Q.”, makes her second appearance here.
Popular television personality Helen Barlowe Rochester had just introduced that day’s guest, the Road Runner.
“I’m honored,” Helen said, “that you are allowing me to be the first to interview you.”
The Road Runner nodded politely, as if to say “My pleasure.”
“Now,” she said, “I’m sure everyone is wondering how I can interview someone who only says ‘Beep beep.’ Well, we have a surprise for them, don’t we?”
“We sure do,” said the Road Runner.
The audience gasped. The Road Runner, SPEAKING?
“How is it that, after all these years, we are finally getting to hear you speak?” Helen asked.
“It’s my new contract,” the Road Runner said. “In the cartoons, all you will ever hear me say is ‘beep beep,’ so that isn’t going to change.”
“Don’t mess with success,” Helen put in.
“Exactly,” said the Road Runner, “but now, outside of the cartoons, I can speak in public.”
“Now,” Helen went on, “you have a secret ambition, which is really the main reason for your appearance on my show.”
“Yes,” said the Road Runner. “Nobody except my costar, Wile E. Coyote, knows that I can sing, and that for a long time I have wanted to sing before an audience.”
“Well, now is your chance,” said Helen. “What are you going to sing?”
“An old song, Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms,” the Road Runner answered.
He stood up, bowed, and opened his mouth.
But just as the Road Runner began to sing, he was drowned out by several car horns.
BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!